1. The first time for anything is always the hardest it will be. 2. You will learn this lesson more times than you’d like. 3. You will look good with blonde or with black hair, and boys and girls will like that about you. 4. You will like boys and girls. 5. You won’t be convinced anything is ever the last time. 6. You will develop a fear of full length mirrors (for more reason than one). 7. People will assume you are exaggerating. Let them. 8. People will assume you are something you are not. Let them. 9. You will be selfless until you are unable to be. 10. You will worry this effect will last forever. 11. You will be patient and kind to the wrong people. 12. You will be patient and kind until you are unable to be. 13. It will take 25 years but one day you will wake up closer to the goddesses. 14. The concept of a career driven life is as socially constructed as virginity. 15. You won’t look good in those neon peach pants. 16. The people you will be attracted to will always surprise you. 17. You will have a bad hair cut at your college graduation. 18. You will be evicted from an apartment eight months after that. 19. He will not kill you. 20. He will not kill you. 21. He will not kill you. 22. Your capacity to heal will be always deeper than you are aware. 23. You ability to dress yourself and look halfway decent will take longer to develop than you’d like. 24. Every year will be a different lifetime. 25. You may never settle on a hairstyle. 26. You will like it when your hair’s pulled. 27. You will want your hair pulled a lot. 28. The things you think will end you will not. 29. You will never master pouting your lips. 30. But my goodness, you will try.